Tonsil Krab Transcript
Cast Rebecca Rechid (as Caroline (Cameos)) Nat Peterson Patrick Star SpongeBob SquarePants Sandy Cheeks Tina SquarePants Kyle Rechid Plankton Mr. Krabs Mrs. Puff Fred Squidane Squidward Wendy SquarePants Pearl Krabs Terrance and Phillip Bebe Krabs Squidendy Patricia Star Karen Dr. Gill Gilliam What Zit Tooya Harold Bill Dr. Actor Dr. Forrest Frank (citizen) Frank (muscular goldfish) Shubie Martha Smith Nancy O'Malley Tina Fran Nancy Suzy Fish Mrs. Krabs Script Mr. Krabs: AHHHHHH. Dr. Forrest: Well, there's no doubt about it. Those tonsils! Fucker need to come out. Mr. Krabs: What? Mrs. Krabs: Uh, what exactly does that entail, doctor? Dr. Forrest: It's a very simple operation. We'll just put you to sleep, Krabs, and when you wake up you'll be tonsil-free! Mr. Krabs: No- No way. I'm not going to the hospital, Mom! Dr. Forrest: Oh, I thought you were a tough Krabs! You're not scared of hospitals, are you? Mr. Krabs: No, I'm not scared... I just- I don't want my tonsils out, that's all! Mrs. Krabs: Well I guess you don't want all the ice cream you get after the surgery, either. Mrs. Krabs: ...Ice cream? Mrs. Krabs: It'd be a shame to have to give all that free ice cream to the big boys who aren't afraid of hospitals. Mrs. Krabs: What do you say, champ? Think you can tough it out? Mr. Krabs: Well...you did say free ice cream? and Mrs. Krabs laugh shot of Hell's Pass Hospital. Camera cuts to a hospital room where Mr. Krabs is asleep in a hospital bed. Liane is sitting by his side, holding his hand and smiling Mrs. Krabs: Poopsiekins, wake up. Wake up, honey. Mr. Krabs: his eyes, blinking a lot Uh. It's over? Mr. Krabs: That's right, you did it, Poopsiekins! Mr. Krabs: fully open, sitting up It's over! I didn't feel anything! You were right, Mom! Mrs. Krabs: I'm so proud of you, Mr. Krabs. Mrs. Krabs: Alright, so where's my ice cream? doctors enter the room looking very nervous. Mrs. Krabs: Oh, here's the doctors now! Hi, doctor. Mrs. Krabs: You were right, doctor! Everything is okay! Mrs. Krabs: [Sobbing] Oh, oh, my baby has HIV! Mr. Krabs: NO! NOOOOOOOO! shot of Bikini Bottom High School as segue music plays. In the teachers lounge, SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Mrs. Puff, two other staff members, and all of the boys' parents are gathered. SpongeBob SquarePants: Thank you for coming, everyone. Kyle, Rebecca and Wendy walk in. Patrick Star: Boys, please take a seat. Kyle Rechid: boys sit down. What's going on? Are we in trouble Bikini Bottom? SpongeBob SquarePants: Boys, the reason we all called you in is because one of your friends...has a serious illness. Mr. Krabs has been diagnosed with HIV. Squidward: Oh no. Dr. Gill Gilliam: He's been to several specialists after a botched blood transfusion. The disease is in very early stages and completely manageable, but he's naturally a bit scared. Plankton: Mr. Krabs has HIV? Fish Doctor 2: We need everyone to understand you can't get the virus from Krabs. You can still give him hugs and even kisses. Don't be afraid of him, just- Plankton: Excuse me. Eugene Krabs has HIV? SpongeBob SquarePants: Alright, we're going to bring Eugene in now, and let's all be as supportive as we can and show him lots of love, okay? Patrick Star: the back door Eugene? Come on in, your friends want to say "Hi", m'kay? walks into the room with a black baseball cap, a gray scarf, and an annoyed look. Everyone greets him. Plankton: ...No. Way!!!!!!. Rebecca Peterson: [over to Mr. Krabs, putting an arm around his shoulder How ya doin', Krabs? You know, I think you're a real special little guy, and even though you have AIDS, I ain't gonna act any different towards you. and kisses Mr. Krabs on the cheek, much to his horror Mr. Krabs: Goddammit, this sucks ASS! Plankton: ...Excuse me, I have to step out for a minute. the room and begins laughing in the hallway. It can be heard from in the room. What Zit Tooya: Poor Plankton. He's really taking it hard. Mr. Krabs: Is Plankton LAUGHING out there!? This isn't a time for funny jokes, I'm gonna die! Fish Doctor 2: No, you're not going to die, Mr. Krabs. AIDS isn't as big a deal as it used to be. There are advances in treatment and- Mr. Krabs: What? No. No. after him Plankton, no!! [End of Tonsil Krabs.] Category:SpongeBob Last Nights....... Episode Transcript Category:Episodes